Missing myself more than ever.

I miss beautiful things. I miss having life in my hands. I miss going out on the street without feeling ashamed. I miss my sister. I miss having talks. I miss confirmation. I miss having selfconfidence. I miss last spring.
No one is dancing in the opposite apartment today. Today there's only darkness over there.
And everything's white and clear. When I fall asleep early and sleep for about 9-10 hours, I dream about everything. Tonight I dreamed about me and my friends going to a concert with Band of Horses, and I was devistated because I had forgotten to listen to their songs earlier. Now I know what I've gotta do.
FYI, these are only excuses for being nobody. For being quiet instead of being nice and social.
She's falling asleep, heavy, on my hand. My typing is making her fall asleep.
What if I lived in Middle Earth and fought for the survival of the world and actually made it.
I'm gonna fight 'til the day I die. 'Til I die.
Now the Christmas tree shines once again, and I wonder if the lantern outside the door way over there is gonna make it or not.
I guess no.